My Life In A Nutshell

Ok, so this is my first blog so I think I should introduce myself.

I'm Butterfly and I live in a small Texas town. I'm 24, I have 2 kids and I am currently in the middle of my second divorce. Yeah, I know, it sounds bad. I no longer know who I am or what I want in life. I know I love my kids and they are my wings.

Let me tell you about my past. I'll start from when I was 16.

I meet this guy that I'll call Ryan. He is 16 and has the "bad boy" look to him. We start dating shortly after we meet and we are together almost constantly. He definately is not a great catch but thats ok I'm only 16.

We turn 17.

About six months after we meet I wake up one morning and have to haul ass to the bathroom to puke. Oh shit, I'm must be pregnant! I go to the store and buy a couple of pregnancy test and go over to his house to take them. I take the first one and the first line is there like it should be. But wait, oh no, there is a very faint second line. Ok dont panic. I drink a couple of big glasses of water and we sit around and play cards for awhile. The time comes to take the second test. I go in there pee on the stick and BAM! I hardly could even set it down before both lines appear bright as the sun.

Ok Ryan, what are we going to do? As we discuss the situation we have come up with a plan. He was already signed up for the Navy and was suppose to ship off to basic training in about a month. So we decided to get married before he left and when he got out I would move to where ever he would be stationed. We tell our parents whats going on and they all consent to us getting married so about 2 weeks later we are in the courthouse getting married.

He leaves for basic. I'm laid up on my parents couch and can not keep anything down. I'm weak and miserable. After about 6 weeks of boot camp he finds out he will be stationed in Florida for some more training. I pack up my stuff and my parents move me to Florida to be with him. We find an apartment for me because he has to stay on base. So here I am, 17, pregnant, sick (because I honestly could not keep ANYTHING, food or drink, in me), I know nobody, I'm scared because I never had been so far away from my parents, and he is spending every penny we have. I can't pay my bills and he is fixing to have to move to another part of Florida. I can't afford to move with him so I move back with my parents.

About 5 months pass.

I'm gestational diabetic and the doctor is worried about how big the baby is going to be so she says she will induce my labor a couple weeks early. I tell him the news so he can get the paperwork in order to take a leave for a couple weeks to be with me and the baby. He comes in the evening before I go in to be induced. We wake up the next morning and we are going to be parents. I'm scared. I have a smooth delivery and we have a healthy baby girl.

After two days in the hospital we go home (to my parents). My baby won't sleep for more than an hour at a time. I'm trying to breast feed and she doesn't want it and I'm going nuts. At night he sleeps though her screaming and during the day he is gone doing god knows what. Two weeks later he has to go back to Florida. He is still spending all the money and wants to know when I'm moving down there. I tell him I will soon but I need money.

I turn 18.

I'm sitting there one day with our beautiful girl and my phone rings. It is him. He says there is something he needs to tell me. He goes on to tell me that he has been sleeping with another woman and got caught doing it in the barracks.

We get a divorce.


Stay tuned to here about the second child and second divorce.