My Life In A Nutshell Part 2

I'm just going to pick up where I left off.

After I filed for divorce I started seeing one of my brothers friends. He had been around for some of my first marriage and knew what I had been through. He liked me and was great with my daughter. I'll call him Steve.

I was 18 and Steve was 26. He had a good job and seemed like he knew what he wanted in life. We enjoyed going out and doing things. We always went to his parents on Sunday and everything was going great. My divorce from Ryan was coming to an end and he agreed to sign up all his rights to my daughter because he did not want to have anything to do with her or me and did not want to be financially obligated.

Steve and I are out one day and then it happens. He gets down on his knee and he presents me with a ring and asks me to marry him. I said yes. This time I get to have an actual wedding. I am so excited! We get married, go on a little weekend honeymoon and life is going well.

We move into a little house about 30 minutes from the small town I live in, I don't have to work, bills a getting paid and we are a happy little family. What more could a woman ask for?

My daughter turns two and I want to go to work. I put her into daycare and I find a great job. I start making friends up at work and this is when things just don't seem to be going the way they once were. I worked in an office and so did a couple of other guys. I had no interest in them except as friends, but apparently my husband did not think so. He would make surprise visits to my office and he took me and picked me up from work. When the girls would ask me to go out and have a drink, he made sure I said no.

We move a couple times and money starts getting tight. My parents are really great and would lend us a few bucks when we needed it. We try to get pregnant and after about a year we are successful. The pregnancy does not start off well. This time I can't even get food or fluid into my body. I get severely dehydrated. I am in and out of the hospital getting fluids by IV and I'm not getting any better. All this time I am still working. My doctor sends me to a bigger hospital and I have to have a central line put in my neck for fluids and they start giving me large doses of steroids. Somehow or another I start feeling better and they send me home. We buy a house in the town my parents live in and we move. The rest of the pregnancy goes fair. I never feel good and my blood pressure is border line too high. They induce me with him and this time delivery was not so smooth. He decides he wants to come out waving to the world. He has one arm up by his head and his other shoulder gets stuck. At this point I really don't know what is going on. I only know that I have a nurse pushing on my belly with all of her weight and they are yelling at me to push. Finally he breaks free and I have a healthy baby boy. Later the doctor informs me about what was exactly going on and he said that he was glad that it worked out the way it did. If it hadn't it could have killed me or my baby.

We take our baby home and I quit work. My daughter starts kindergarten and here we go again. I start making new friends. I start talking to this one mom and we become best friends. She is married and a stay-at-home mom too with kids close in age to mine. My husband refuses to meet her husband and try to become friends. Over a period of time he starts saying that I am sleeping with her husband. I had only met her husband a couple times and had no interest in him. Then Steve says that I must be sleeping with my friend, another woman. I don't swing that way.

After almost 5 years of marriage it finally hit me what I was putting up with. I was tired of it and I took the kids and left. So, here I am today. Single mom of two.

Now my current life is not going so good. I must defend myself and say that I never said that Steve was a bad father, in fact he adopted my daughter, he was only a bad husband. Well since I have left him, which was approximately 2 1/2 months ago, he has only seen the kids about 3 times. I have done nothing but encourage him to see them but still he refuses and blames it on me.

I am now looking for a job outside of the hell hole I live in and am not having much luck. Not many people want to hire someone that has not worked in 2 years.

I am trying to keep a positive outlook on my life but have a very hard time in doing so.