Thinking

Where is the off switch to my brain? All I ever do is think. It doesn't matter what I do, there is always a million little thoughts running through my head. I must say that it is rather annoying and troublesome. Often I tend to get stuck on certain thoughts for days. Needless to say this is one of those times.

My current thoughts have been on my life and how it must look to other people. To be honest, I am very happy with where I am. It isn't perfect and it isn't where I always want to be, but I know it will change with time as everything does.

When I put the basics of my life into words, which I assume is how it looks to other people, makes it sound horrible. I'm 24, two kids with two different dads, getting my second divorce, basically living with my boyfriend,and I don't work and don't want to.

Now to put my life into MY words and how I feel about it. I was only 17 when I got pregnant with my first child. At the time, being young, scared and stupid, I felt it was best to get married. It was wrong from the start, never meant to be. Then I get married again and I honestly can't say it was wrong or it wouldn't have lasted 5 years. It ended because he was controlling and I wasn't happy. And after all, you do have to be happy to enjoy life. That is all in the past anyways and I have two beautiful children thanks to all of it. As far as my current life, I don't work because I want to be with my children. I cringe at the thought of having to put them in daycare. Not to mention that it really doesn't pay to work when you have to pay for child care. Basically I do live with my boyfriend, we stay the night with each other every night. Right now we do have separate houses, but I assume that will change in the near future. He is absolutely wonderful. He loves me for me and he loves my children as if they were his own. And as they say, girls fall in love with men like their daddy's. Well, I found him, he is like my dad in so many ways. OK, I'll stop before I get all mushy and sappy about him. But I must say that I do love him with all my heart.

I guess now I should wrap this up with some final words. When it comes down to it, I really don't care what other people think because it is my life and I will live it however I please. We all make mistakes. I love my life and I'm very happy with it. My brain has just been in overdrive and letting it out helps slow it down.